Things I think I think, unpopular edition

1. lets talk about aliens. More specifically lets talk about all the “science” networks non-stop marathon of shows about UFOs and ancient aliens. Put aside, for a second, the ridiculousness of putting these programs on a “science” channel and lets just look at some basic facts.

a) the nearest star to us is Proxima Centauri, which so far has shown no signs of planets orbiting it, but lets just be generous and say that an advanced alien civilization lives in orbit around Proxima. This planet would be 4.2 light years away from us (about 93 Million miles!) Since we know, thanks to Albert Einstein, that you cannot travel as fast (or even nearly as fast) as light , lets give a hypothetical alien craft the speed of the Voyager probe (38,200 miles per hour!) and if they left tomorrow how long would it take them to reach the Earth?

2434 years. two thousand and thirty four years!

Even if we double their speed to 76,400 miles per hour (in deference to their hypothetical advanced technology)  it would still take an alien craft traveling from the very nearest star to earth over one thousand years to reach us. Do we really believe that an alien race would expend the manpower (not to mention the generations of astronauts) to come to our little dinky planet? Really, a THOUSAND years to look at our monkey faces?

b) If they decided to help the Egyptians build the pyramids (more on this later) then they would have had to have left Proxima when the Egyptian empire consisted of some few primitive traveling tribes. Which leads to some questions, like why the fuck would they bother coming here? How did they know our planet existed since they would have had to find it without radio waves which we have only been emitting for 100 or so years? We can barely identify gaseous giant planets which are millions of times the size of our Earth (and only in the last couple years) so our planet would be almost impossible to find visually.

c) Before we talk about the “ancient aliens” let me ask you this, who built the Coliseum ? the Romans, right? who built the Parthenon? the Greeks right?So, who built the pyramids? Aliens? Why is that? Why?  Because we live in a culture that is so suffused with racism that we sometimes don’t even realize how racist we are! We have no problem believing that “white” races built all sorts of amazing things like castles, cathedrals, and discovered electricity but apparently all the “brown” races required alien assistance to do the same thing!

The Mayans? Brown people who needed alien help. The Egyptians? Brown people who needed alien help. The Macedonians? white folks who could scale mountains with fucking elephants unaided by aliens. No one thinks Ben Franklin had alien help, but lots of otherwise smart people believe that ancient people of color couldn’t invent anything without outside help.

d)The fact is that ancient alien belief is racist and based on nothing more than our inability to imagine that anyone who came before us had the brainpower to invent and innovate. The fucked up thing is that we know how all these ancient people built their great works using manpower, math, and planning, its all there in the archeological record, no aliens required. It is also the rather egocentric belief that we are so fascinating that an alien race would sacrifice the tremendous amounts of resources to come to Earth. I do believe that in a universe as vast as ours that there are other planets with life and some with life as advanced or more than us, I just can’t see any evidence or logic for how or why they would come here.

e) Why do I care? Because one of the most destructive things is delusion, in this case the delusion robs certain people of their true history and accomplishments, it reinforces the self-centered idea that we are the most important thing in the universe, and it distracts otherwise great minds with looking for a fiction when they could be curing cancer or looking for real phenomena that could help the very real and present problems we are actually dealing with on this tiny planet. Sorry, true believers, I don’t accept that it’s just a harmless diversion.

2. The instagram app has shown me once again that the world of tattooing is more amazing than ever! Time and again a name I have never heard of is putting out work so amazing and so beautiful and every time I open the app my mind is blown. There are many things that I and others would prefer were different about the world of tattooing these days, but if the main measure is the overall quality of work then I would have to declare right now the glory days of tattooing without question.

3. Do you know what this is?

That is an ultrasound picture of Cara and my little baby at about 18 weeks! You can’t tell much by an ultrasound of the personality or actual appearance, but you can know, with startling clarity, that there is a wee human inside my wife’s body and that 50% of the little boogers genes are from me! He or she (we don’t know and wont find out til he/she is born) was going bananas inside there, kung fu kicks, spinning, back-flips and its teeny tiny heart banging away like a demon. This baby looks like its going to be cah-ray-zee active!

Cara and I also took a couples prenatal yoga class, this was my first yoga class of any sort and it definitely reminded me of zazen in some ways, the further we get into this pregnancy the more grateful I am for the stability and sanity that Zazen has brought into, I can’t imagine being ready to be a dad without having my own shit at least a little bit together. I can’t pretend to know that I’m “ready’ to be a parent but i can say without hesitation that I’m at my very best mentally and spiritually these days and that’s got to help at least a little I hope!

Categories: Buddhism and life, fatherhood, random dumbness, Tattoo stuff | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Defying (the) Convention

THEY are trying to destroy my love of tattoo conventions. They fill bigger and bigger halls with more like them. The crowds that are attracted to the strange ghoul of tattoo television stardom are a sad lot. Where conventions of the past focused on a few really talented artists who were known only to a small portion of folks who were genuinely interested in tattoos, these days the draw is far less talented tattooers who have had the (mis?)fortune to be “reality television stars“. The results at this weekends Baltimore tattoo convention were too plain to ignore. Moved into a cavernous and soul sucking vault from the previous years cozy hotel ballroom, the enormous number of booths were filled with a depressingly mediocre and untalented pile of shops and artists pumping out $30 and $40 dollar tattoos hoping to siphon some semblance of a living from the trashy rubs who equate being on television with some form of magic. It was silly, it was sad, it was filled with people whose only love of tattooing is based on the flawed idea that if you are on the glowing light of a television that you, somehow, must be a somebody.

Fortunately for tattooing the aforementioned core group of tattoo aficionados are still there, still loyal to quality work and still happy to go to a place where their chosen artists are assembled into one place. They gamely walk the gauntlet of hook hangers, bad “burlesque” shows, the horrible tattooers with 2 pictures of (bad)  tattoos in their portfolio and 50 of them posing with guns in front of a beemer, and the brain dead rubes hoping to get  a picture with some half talented tv tattooer, with an eye for the quality work that  still draws them to these shit shows by the fond memories of past years conventions before the organizers decided that the tattooers were to be second to the almighty dollar. I have done this show for years and the progression from a room full of talented artists sharing stories and pushing each other to newer and better heights into a grim vault of rum dumb barely skilled hacks and sideshow bullshit is nearly complete. Personally Im done doing this (and most) conventions, there are good ones out there still and if I ever wanted to do another one I  will be focusing on those rather than wasting my time and money supporting people for whom tattooing is just a paycheck.

Did I say that I wasted my time? Well, that is not exactly true since we got to hang out with a ton of our friends and to enjoy Baltimore itself, which is always really fun! Cara and I also did some really fun tattoos on great people who made it a pleasure to deal with the ocean of goofballs filling the cavernous Baltimore convention center. Before we got to the “charm city” Cara and I stayed with and worked at the fine folks of Black Thorn Gallery in Mechanicsburg Pa. Not only are they incredibly talented, but Ryan, Landon, Tim, and Tiffany are the kind of tattooers Cara and I like to describe as “our people”. All the talent in the world is wasted if you are a jerk and the Black Thorn crew are super good people as well as damn fine tattooers. One of their shop regulars Cody let me tattoo an umbrella Yokai on the side of his knee.

On day one my Sunday appointment asked if I wasnt doing anything would I mind working on his piece instead of waiting. Since neck tattoos are always the scariest for me at conventions I was thrilled to get this one going while I was still fresh and we turned out this skull and roses on Joel’s neck.

I did this lil cake on our friend’s elbow/forearm area in honor of her mom (and on mothers day no less!) I can’t say that I have tattooed many bunt cakes, but this one was super fun!

BUNDT!

A customer I tattooed in 2009 at the convention stopped by and showed me the healed chrysanthemum on her forearm, I was happy to see that it was still solid and that she was ready to turn it into a full sleeve!

We did a couple little ones on some very cool folks and I tattooed one repeat customer who apparently has an orgasm every time I tattoo her (I cannot guarantee these results for every customer) and who brought her own towel in order to “keep your chair from getting all wet”. Keep in mind that this tattoo was just on her shoulder not in any “erogenous” zones.i feel like I should have added an extra $50 for the happy ending. . . . the things we do for our art!

On the last day I ended the whole thing by tattooing Heather’s hand! Not only is she engaged to a Pittsburgh tattooer, and part of the tattoo was a coverup,  but she has two really awesome sleeves which puts the pressure on high especially tattooing a hand at a convention where the light isn’t quite what you are used to and the distraction factor is pretty substantial. But I did my best and both of us  were happy with the result.

Other highlights included getting a grip of maternity clothes and baby furniture from the amazing Jen Reid, eating with our good buddies til were ready to blow up 3 days in a row. Being in the same booth as Ryan and Landon, being able to spend time with their awesome wives and kids, being next to Cyn and the whole Cirque du Rouge crew and being inspired by folks like Timmy Tats, Krooked Ken, Tahiti Gil, Jakoh, and dozens more who are true tattooers and keep the flame alive for Cara and I to be inspired by. We wont be working this show anymore, but we will definitely be using it as an excuse to hang out in Baltimore with some super cool and dedicated tattooers and friends.

Categories: Tattoo stuff | Tags: , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Yet more random shit

1) One of the first questions we get asked when people find out that Cara is pregnant is “are you going to find out the sex?” and for awhile we figured that we would. It would let us settle on a name, start picking out clothes and such and at this point we are hungry for any information and who or what this tiny creature is. But the more we thought about it and talked to folks like my mom who had 6 (!) kids and never felt the need to know the gender before they were born we realized what a cool surprise it would be to meet this little person on his or her own terns when they were born. Besides, neither of us is real fond of the “boys wear blue girls wear pink” thing and this way well meaning folks wont feel the need to color coordinate anything they buy for the baby.

2) I was given a shaving brush and cake of shaving soap a couple years ago by a friend as a birthday gift. I have always been interested in this old fashioned way of doing things and have used it since then. I have come to appreciate how very economical and ecological this is since I have the same brush as 3 years ago and have bought a new cake of soap one time for about $6. Sure you can get all kooky and buy $200 dollar badger hair brushes and shit like that but its completely unnecessary. It takes me about 30 seconds extra to shave this way and I get to feel like im in an old cowboy movie doing it.

3) Cara and I are getting ready for the Baltimore tattoo convention and a funny thing is happening. I have been getting calls and emails about doing appointments at the convention, which is weird because I usually just roll in there and tattoo whoever comes to the booth, but this year I am getting booked up ahead of time. This is good news and so far the tattoos people have been asking about all sound pretty damn fun to do, but i cant help wonder why now of all times since we have been working this convention for 5 or so years! This might be the only convention we do this year (since the Pittsburgh convention is right around Caras due date we might not make it this year heh heh) so Im really glad its in a city where we have so many friends. If you are attending and would like a tattoo from Cara or I you might want to set it up soon as it looks like we might actually be full up by the time it rolls around, call the shop at 412-621-1679 if you want to set something up for the convention.

4)Speaking of traveling to the convention, we will be stopping in Mechanicsburg for a couple days before to hang out with the awesome folks of Black Thorn gallery (with whom we will be sharing a big booth at the Baltimore con.) So if you are in the Harrisburg/Mechanicsburgh area and would like me to tattoo/bore you to death with long stories then call those fine folks and set it up! They are all the kind of quality people and top notch talents that make me want to open a super shop with 15 of my good friends who are that rare combination of awesome tattooers AND kind intelligent humans.

5) Politics. ugh, my head already hurts thinking about it. Like almost anything that people use to keep from having to think deeply about reality it ends up only in divisiveness and conflict. The sort of problems we argue about in this country sound like the silliest form of luxury problems we could be wasting our energy on. When half the world doesn’t have clean water it seems like a grievously missed opportunity to argue about whether we should let ridiculously rich people get richer or a tiny bit less rich. Really? This is the junk we fill our lives angrily with when real (solvable!) problems lie undealt with? Our kinds wont look back and say “our side won in 2012!” they will look back and say “our parents could have fed the world if they weren’t so busy acting like spoiled children.”

6) Ive been really hitting the ol’ cushion on the regular lately and it is amazing how much more smoothly life goes when i meditate daily. I don’t know (or care) about the whys, in fact not sweating the things that are unanswerable is one of the main reasons things go so smoothly! It feels like when your house is totally clean and organized (not that mine has ever been that way) and if you have to get up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water you can walk through each room totally confident that you wont stub your toe on a basket of clothes or a chair that was left in the wrong place. You just know that your shit is arranged and so when life does throw a curve ball your way you are able to meet the changes with a flexible mind not distracted by all the other stuff we normally spend our lives stressing about.

Categories: Buddhism and life, fatherhood, random dumbness | 1 Comment

The Treehouse

Believe it or not this started as a reaction to one of the dumbest controversies I have ever witnessed. Recently the folks who make the Instagram app for Apples Iphone made a version available for users of the android phone operating system. TONS of tattooers use instagram so I was considering buying an Iphone when my contract made it available this fall. Now I don’t need to spend money on a new phone since I can use the app as well, but when I got on there I saw a flood of people, people whose only claim to exclusivity is the cell phone they bought, decrying the influx of android users. They were fucking angry that people who used phones from a different company could now use the same application that had been their own private club. This is indescribably stupid, but it did make me think of this whole notion of secret clubs and a belief that there are those better than others.

If you have been around me for any length of time you will have had the misfortune to hear me rant about exclusion. I’m not just talking about the really obvious shit like groups who ban gays (like the boy scouts) or women (like the entire catholic church structure), but the smaller, pettier kinds. In fact, it is these that drive me even more bonkers than the ancient and archaic ones whose elitism and exclusivity are merely the dried dangling dingle-berries of their history. It makes a kind of moronic sense that the Klan would not admit black people or that the fundamentalist religions of the world would exclude people who were born gay, these kinds of groups have been stupid and backward since their inception. I get it, I don’t approve of it, but I get it. If you have been dumb for 400 years the chances are that you aren’t going to be smart any time real soon.

I didn’t used to be this way, in fact I was pretty into being elite, I enjoyed feeling like I was smarter, cooler, or just plain better than other people. When I was a punk I took great pride that me and my few friends were the ones who were too smart to listen to Journey and Hall and Oates, but eventually I begin to feel that I and my even smaller group of friends were even better than the other punks. WE didn’t drink or do drugs, WE cared about how fucked our government was, WE were not the loutish morons who acted like idiot frat boys only with mohawks and spiky jackets. Eventually I began to listen to really weirdo culty sounding doom folk and pseudo gothic creepfests and decided that even my straight edge friends were not cool enough for me. I became the sole member of a very select and exclusive club of one.

I always wanted to be in the group, I wasted no time in shitting on those who weren’t, everyone around me did the same things with their own versions. When I became a tattooer the trend magnified into a truly frankenstein-esque monster! Here, I was now part of a trade that had secret knowledge, arcane masters that only those “in the know” were even aware of. We had, almost automatically, a disdain for the customer who “didn’t get it” and demanded our wonderful genius be put to use tattooing tweety birds and old English. Were were the pirates, everyone else was either a victim or a rival pirate and either way we were the best and “they” (i.e. everyone else) were the worst. Heaven help the poor kid who wandered into our shop asking about being a tattooer! We told them that our talent was innate, that we were “born tattooers” and that if they were not already touched with the golden light like us then they would be nothing, or even worse than nothing, that they would be “scratchers“. (imagine a small, rat like creature clutching a cheaply made tattoo machine in the dingy dirty kitchen of his trailer spewing hepatitis and bad ICP tattoos onto its group of equally despicable cronys). Never mind the fact that I was, at best, a mediocre tattooer and that all this shunning and decrying was to cover my own secret fear that someday, someone, would call me out for the phony I was. The fact is that secret clubs work because most of the members don’t really believe that they are worthy and that only if they hate on enough of everybody else will they be able to keep the spotlight away from their own failure.

Embarrassingly, I even felt like I had joined a cool kids club when I became a Buddhist, but when you begin to actually do Buddhism (as opposed to talking or reading about doing it) a funny thing happens. You see, we all have that voice we use to talk to ourselves. When were making a tough decision or debating two choices, when we doubt our path or actions  it is the voice that use to compare, to literally have an internal dialogue. It’s the voice that calls us stupid when we lock the keys in the car or pats us on the back when we get a wicked zinger dig at someone we’re arguing with. Well if you sit zazen regularly a funny thing happens. That voice gets quieter, it gets replaced by something far more sure and something that doesn’t have to convince you its right, you know in your bones that it is the truth. When that happens the bullshit starts to fall off pretty quick.

Years ago I read a Koan that baffled me for a long time in the beginning. In it there is a monk who would wake up every day and talk to himself. He would say

“Master!?”

“Yes Master?”

“Dont be fooled by anybody!”

“yes master!”

“Dont be fooled by yourself!”

“Yes master!”

I thought it was just a funny little story of guy trying to stay on his guard against delusion or something. But the longer I practiced the more I began to see that we do talk to ourselves as a separate person, and that most often the person deluding us is US! Once I began to stop and see the world as it really was instead of how it could/should/used to be  those two voices turned into one and it was not patient with delusion and bullshit. I dropped a lot of my self flogging/congratulation, I stopped arguing over stupid shit (mostly) and most of all I began to feel that I was the same as everyone else.

Everyone.

Even people I despised, people I knew nothing about, everything. It made sense why a total stranger would risk his or her life to save someone even if it put their own lives at risk, it made sense why vegetarians couldn’t eat meat because they identified with the animal, I got why when someone cut down a tree for no good reason it made me mad. I finally began to understand that exclusion wasn’t just mean or prejudiced, it was delusion. It came from the myth that we were different and caused harm not only to those left out of the “club”, it deeply wounded those who were the “in” crowd as well! The problem is that this is something felt at a level that language can’t express, so saying “I felt like we were all one” doesn’t actually exclude the reality that were are separate bodies with separate t-shirts. But I knew at that gut level that the part of me that wanted to be the cool kid, who wanted to set aside a little piece of the world and call it minewas fading fast, I felt like I had a little tiny taste of reality and there was no room in it for fake partitions and snobbery. I began to feel like all the problems we have in this world are a result of believing in and trying to reinforce the lie that you or I could really separate ourselves from the whole universe like that. It would be like a leaf deciding it didn’t need the tree and jumping off to form a secret club of independent leaves. (when that happens not only does the leaf wither, but the tree suffers too!)

Categories: Buddhism and life, Tattoo stuff | Tags: , , | 1 Comment

Step one of a million

The nurse midwife had done all the explaining, the checking, the blood pressure taking, the exam, and all that was left was to put a little clear goo on the end of what looked like a fisher-price toy antique-telephone and place it on Cara’s abdomen. It was a little cold in the room so the gel must have been pretty chilly, but my wife didn’t show any signs of discomfort, she just looked excited. Out of the tinny speaker on the pale blue device came a wind rushing, whorling noise like holding a conch shell up to your ear, only this time the ocean we heard was Caras womb. In the distance came the calm “thwump thwump” of her own heart beat from what sounded like miles away, strange echos and tides seemed to surge our of the box. As the midwife moved the wand over Caras tummy there broke the occasional staticky squelch, then more ocean. After only 30 seconds that first thought, (the evil one that our brains seem to keep loaded and ready like a round in the chamber to fire at you) began to creep up, “what if they can’t find it?” The midwife seemed to hear something, she put the box close to her ear, made a small adjustment to the right.

People often describe something as happening “magically”, sometimes its over an event as silly as getting an extra sandwich in their McDonalds bag for free, but sometimes something really does happen as if by magic and is true in every sense of that word. Something unexpected, something that  you never thought would happen to you. Some aspect of reality changes as if an unseen force willed it into being.

In a moment, magically, came the sound of tiny heart beating. Fluttering almost like a moth trying to come in the window towards the light or the way I imagine a sleeping mouse’s’ heart must sound. I heard the sound of my babies heart. Magically.

I had seen two lines on a pee soaked pregnancy test, I was well aware my wife growing nauseous and her sudden desire to go to bed at 8:30. I knew that there was a little person in her body now, but hearing that heartbeat made reality seem suddenly very much more real.We looked at each other and Cara made that crazy smile of hers where every neck muscle pops out, her head squats down between her shoulders and those adorable rabbit teeth poke out over her bottom lip just emits pure joy. There was no more worry, there was just the unexpectedly powerful sounding little engine pumping away somewhere inside that magic body which had created a human. The midwife assured us that the sound was as it should be, strong, regular, and most importantly, there.

We have plans, of course. Everyone in our situation has plans. Names picked, colors debated, the merits of this sort of upbringing or that. Plans make us feel like are somehow in control of the future. Mike Tyson was once asked by a reporter about what he would do about his opponents plans, “everyone has a plan,” he answered, “til they get punched in the mouth.” I don’t know when or how I’m going to get punched in the mouth, but maybe knowing that this little bambino will be the one to suckerpunch me makes it ok. My life has already changed in an amazing way and in 8 months it will change in ways I cannot even fathom. I trust the work I have done to become a good person, a person responsible to myself and the rest of the world will let Cara and I do a good job of loving and raising our baby.

Categories: fatherhood | Tags: , , , | 5 Comments

the reality gap

I’ve been reading some interesting things about the brain and how we look at the world lately. one o the more interesting ones ive run across lately describes the way that our ears get information to our brains faster than our eyes can and both of them are faster than touch and smell. Hearing has a more direct (though still not instant) route to the brain while visual info needs to be reoriented the right way up among other modifications to the raw info before our mind “perceives” what we are looking at.  The differences are measured in milliseconds and yet if our minds presented this to us the way it receives the info we would hear words before the persons mouth had formed them, and we would see our hand touching a hot pan before we felt it. In an effort to give us a clearer picture of the world. Like the jarring sense of wrongness when a television shows sound and visuals are out of synch, it would be distracting to us to try to live in a world we observed this way. Our brains take all this info and edit it together so that we can understand it, but this also means that, by necessity, that we are not really living in reality.

By the time we perceive what is occurring it is already in the past,  we have gotten pretty good at working around this fact but as anyone who plays a musical instrument or walks the tightrope can tell you, sometimes the gap is still too much. The gap between perception and reality means that for lots of things we do at a high level of manual dexterity the mind is actually a hindrance instead of a helper. To think about the 300 notes in a metal guitar solo would be impossible and to then consciously force the fingers into the right combination and pressure on the strings is a feat that at the very least would destroy any possibility of sounding effortless and the chance of a smooth improvisation would be nil. The solution is practice. It requires that we train the body, consciously at first, to do what we require without having to “be in the driver’s seat” the whole time, we need to teach the hands and ears to work at the speed of reality without having to send everything through the tollbooth of the brain and then back out to the hands to say “ok now hold down the E string for .25 seconds”. Many baseball players have commented that they don’t really “see” the ball in flight, they simply swing where they “know” its going to be, the more they practice the better their guess is and the more often the ball hits the bat (and if you count foul balls and tips, the ball hits the bat most of the time).

Add to this the idea that our eyes are not perceiving things in one continuous stream, and it gets even more amazing (and unreal). Our eyes take dozens of snapshots per second and our minds fill in the gaps between using the images on either side of the gap. this generally works, but sometimes it doesn’t and we walk into a parking meter or miss a step on stairs and reality comes quickly to us in the form of a bruise. This is why slow motion film is so fascinating, we see a drop of water hit a puddle all the time, but it’s not until its slowed down hundreds of times that we see the tiny explosion, the halo of displaced water, and the bubble of surface tension pushing back upward.

One theory of schizophrenia is that the person suffering from the condition is simply perceiving all this sensory input in the “wrong” order. He or she may see one thing while hearing what occurred seconds or minutes earlier. Imagine how disconcerting it would be to hear the voice of someone who had left the room already or to feel the touch of someone who you have yet to see!

This is one of the things that makes trying to control every little outcome of our lives to futile, not only is randomness and others expectations fighting against us, but so is the fact that we are only ever perceiving a part of the information out there! Maybe one of the things that Zen Buddhism does is to help us live in that instinctual part of the mind that lets us hit baseballs, pull smooth tattoo lines, and play guitar solos. Maybe meditation is practice for living a little closer to reality as its occurring the same way that practicing kung fu is for blocking a punch your brain had not even perceived was on its way yet? It certainly feels that way! I definitely find myself feeling far less “suckerpunched”by life when I meditate regularly, it’s not that I don’t get upset when things go wrong, but that I see them in their proper context  little quicker and small set backs don’t cause outsized emotions and reactions the way they tend to when I’ve been off the cushion for some time.

Categories: Buddhism and life | Tags: , , , , | 1 Comment

New work Q1 2012

For no real reason I have not been updating the shops website as often as usual, I think this is mainly due to the (not very) laborious task of pulling things off my camera, cropping and grouping pieces and then resizing them, putting them on the website and all that. its not really all that hard, but when I get home from work I often turn off the tattoo part of my brain altogether and ignore things like all that stuff above.

I finally did get off my ass the other day and put a bunch of stuff together. there is more on the website but here is a little of what I’ve been putting out lately.

 

First up is a 1/2 leg sleeve (sock?) in the bottom left of the picture you can see the very faded tattoo we are covering up under a leaf. She had the old piece lasered and so calling it a cover-up is almost cheating. The customer originally was starting with a much smaller mnore abstract type tattoo but like a lot of folks, the more she explored what was possible and didn’t limit her ideas to a “cover up” she found her idea expanding into this lil guy. We will be adding color  but I like the look of it in progress so i thought Id throw it up as it is now and then post the finished piece when that happens. As a funny side note, this clients 70 year old father is apparently a big Japanophile and trains bonsai and the like down in florida, when he saw her leg sleeve developing it inspired him to go get his own arm sleeved in a japanese style!

this piece actually started off as a painting and when our good buddy jason saw it he decided to get it as a tattoo. However, like many of us, he is mostly covered with tattoos already so the only spots he has left are less than “ideal” places. In this case the only availible area left was a patch on the back of his thigh! He cant see it without looking  at a picture of it and to show it off he is going to have to invest in some daisy dukes.

So the idea of a dragon koi is thagt moment when a koi fish jumps that last waterfall over the rainbow gate and transforms from a lowly carp to a noble dragon. This client wanted one that wasnt as gnarly and scary as they usally look so we made it look a little more friendly and finished it in two sessions.

Categories: Tattoo stuff | 1 Comment

Im Baaaaaack!

One often takes things that are used every day in an everyday way for granted. Their very useful normality in our lives renders them almost invisible to the waking mind. When you turn on your cellphone you expect to see the time and whether you have any texts messages, when you pour your orange juice in the morning you expect it to be orange and not blue and to taste like an orange and not a . . er. . blue. Simple, reliable, standard, all words we use to describe the things that we seldom take the time to name at all anyway.

However, Life would appear to be a bit of cruel jokester, it seems to really get a kick out of periodically reminding you of these things by making them not work for you, often when you need them, usually the most. Take for example, my back. I like my back, it does an excellent job of staying behind me, of keeping me upright when I wish to be, and of supporting the admittedly extra bit of front I keep filled with tacos and ice-cream. I have been blessed with a very sturdy back for lo these 41 years and it has seldom, if ever, given me any cause to notice it for more than a few hours and usually then only after I had done something stupid and abusive to it first.

Well now its fucked.

I am sincerely hoping that it’s not going to remain in said state of fuckedness forever, but it has certainly showed me that it plans to at least remain near fucked or at least in the fucked neighborhood for a while.

I have known quite a number of people with back problems in my time, my ex-wife had sciatic pain so bad that she was bedridden for a full month, in pain, on her stomach. It was horrifying to watch and now it seems like its my turn to take a bite of the ol’ shit sandwich known as “a strained back”.

As of now i have only had to shorten a couple of tattoo sessions and reschedule a handful, I am being extremely careful not to push it and yet when im in this unhealthy state all i can think of is how I want to exercise to “make it better”. Yesterday (valentines day) I took my lovely wife to Phipps Conservatory (actually she took me since she was driving, but I told her where to go and how she was doing it all wrong so technically i can claim at least partial “taking” credit) and the few hours we walked through the amazing gardens was inspiring and romantic as our first date (which was at Phipps). It was so inspiring that it inspired my newly assholish back to spasm all day today and make me want to stab myself in the eyes.

One of the most painful parts of any injury is the barrage of information and the sort of ‘stern talking to’ voice that people tell you. Oh, I should take it easy for a while? you don’t fucking say!? I should stretch!? well, golly gee i never thought about that! A heating pad!? well hall-ay-lujah I never thought of that!!!! Just once I want some motherfucker to say “you know if you mix toothpaste and diet Pepsi and rub it on your back it will be cured instantly” and have that shit work! If you don’t have some voodoo  magic like that in the old pile of advice then guess what? Your “advice” sound more like telling a particularly stupid child not to put their burned hand back on the stove.

Sorry, I get a bit “testy” when I’m not feeling well, I also tend to blow off meditation and since this is like day 6 of not meditating I’m pretty much a huge cry baby prick to everyone. Surprise world, the old Jason showed up and he still sucks. I’ll hit the Zafu tomorrow, I promise!

Categories: random dumbness | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

What is (Zen)Buddhism?

My friend Markus had this to say about a recent blog I wrote.

 

the way you tell it, buddhism doesn’t even sound like a faith. If it’s not about an afterlife and a way to deal with impotence and fear, what makes it a religion? I think you leave something out. I am skeptical.

 

Which is a really good question, a lot of people say the same thing so it is a good subject to address in more than just a short reply. Let me start by saying that when I write “Buddhism” it is usually Zen Buddhism I’m talking about, but Buddhism is a broad umbrella covering many different things.

First, you need to know a very stripped down version of Buddhist history; about 2600 years ago the guy we call the Buddha (which just means “awakened”) undertook a personal quest to find an end to suffering in his life. He tried all sorts of methods and eventually discovered a path the we call Buddhism. Please note that I did not call it a faith or a religion, while difficult to pin down to an easy description the closest thing to what Buddhism “is” might be to call it a path, a method of interacting with the universe and not a system of “isms”, (but more on that later.)

The Buddhas teachings resonated with lots of folks and eventually it began to spread beyond the part of Northern India where it originated, as it traveled to each new area the indigenous people would take their already existing religion and mesh it with Buddhism to make their own version of Buddhism. Some Indian Hindus simply added the Buddha to the existing pantheon of Vedic gods as one of Shiva’s many reincarnations.  In Nepal and Tibet there was already a strong local faith known as Bon and Buddhism was combined into it to form what we call Tibetan buddhism. As it moved along the Silk Road into China it was mixed with Chinese Daoism to form what was known as Chan Buddhism (the Chinese actually stripped off much of the ritual stuff the Tibetans had added) and eventually to Japan to form what we call Zen Buddhism. Zen buddhism was the result of Japanese Buddhists trying to get back to the original form of Buddhism as they understood it from the earliest writings. It sort of the protestant reformation of Buddhism. A “getting back to basics” if you will.

Buddhism in Tibet and Mongolia is one of the most colorful and dramatic forms of Buddhism and so it is the one most westerners are familiar with. The Beastie Boys and actor Richard Gere are practicing Tibetan Buddhists as is, obviously, the Dalai Lama. This type of attention would lead someone with only a passing knowledge of Buddhism to believe that is what Buddhism is, actually though, Tibetan buddhism is a tiny sect and their beliefs, based on the native pre-Buddhist animist faith, are often confused with all forms of Buddhism. Tibetan Buddhists believe in reincarnation, in magical beings and multiple deities, it is not that they are wrong, it’s simply that they are only one flavor of Buddhism among many different ones. An old Buddhist saying goes “there are 84,000 doors to the Dharma (teaching)” meaning what works for one person as Buddhism may not work for someone else.

In Japan the two main sects of Zen buddhism (Rinzai and Soto) both sought to strip away all the mumbo-jumbo that had been added to Buddhism over the centuries. Their effort was not to discredit other forms of Buddhism, it was to get back to what they saw as the essential meat at the heart of Buddhism that had been obscured by the cultural trappings it had acquired as it traveled from India to Japan. Some of those trappings include a belief in Reincarnation, spirits, the afterlife, the buddha as a divine being, and anyone’s ability to definitively say if there was or was not a god. The school I follow, Soto Zen, even did away with the concept of enlightenment as some special state that happens once you do Buddhism thoroughly enough. Everything, they said, was enlightenment, we are just to deluded in our normal lives to see it!

In Zen Buddhism you are not asked to believe anything, in fact the Buddhas last words were supposedly “be a lamp to yourselves” meaning “test the theories I’ve presented for yourselves, don’t take my word for it”. Since no one can claim to know for a fact about an afterlife, or the existence of God these questions are put aside in Zen Buddhism in favor of more practical matters. In one famous zen story a young monk asks to see the head Abbot of a monastery, a very experienced and wise man. The monk asks the abbot all sorts of questions like “what is mans true nature, is the buddha nature in everyone, is there life after death”. Instead of giving pat answers, the abbot asked a question of his own, “did you already eat breakfast?”, this confused the monk who said, “yes I did.” to which the abbot replied “then go wash your bowl!”

What the Abbot was saying is “all those questions are not answerable by man, but in the meantime your food bowl is still dirty! Go clean your fucking bowl and leave the unanswerable questions for later!” Zen buddhism deals with the questions of “impotence and fear” by directing your attention to where it ought to be, in this moment! It is about the very real problem of people not dealing with reality! they spend their lives worried about the coulds, shoulds, and what-ifs , yet all the while they are missing this actual moment as it is occurring. This habit of ours to dwell in a fictional past or an unknowable future is so ingrained in us that we seldom ever notice it. Spending time and energy on those sorts of questions is like wasting time worrying about whether the wizard of Oz wears black shoes or brown ones, it doesn’t fucking matter and no one knows for sure anyway! What does matter is how you live your life right now, are you kind to others or a prick, do you do what needs to be done or put off the hard things in life til they bite you in the ass, in short, are you living life causing more or less suffering to yourself and others? It turns out that our suffering comes about because we cause it! The good news is that because we cause it, we can also end it.

What the Buddha realized was that the less we were in touch with this actual reality as it occurred outside of our thoughts of how it ought to be, the more we suffered. He also realized that nobody else, not your family, not a priest, not the Buddha could show you the Truth. You had to do it yourself! This is one reason why Buddhists don’t try to “convert” people or sell you buddhism as an end to your problems, one simply comes to Buddhism when (and if) they are ready to look deeper than simple answers and easy to hear platitudes. What the Buddha could do, however, was show you one method to use that might help you to begin to strip away the bullshit and see things as they really are. He called it the eightfold path,” path” because it is something you travel upon your whole life instead of hearing someone else’s idea of the truth once and stopping there.

Zen Buddhism promises you nothing, asks you to believe nothing you can’t test for yourself, it is simply the teaching some folks have found to be helpful to live a life with less suffering for themselves and others. A faith, by definition, asks you to believe something you can not prove, Zen Buddhism does not do this. A religion promises sure answers to questions no human can honestly know, Zen doesn’t do this. Zen doesn’t even tell you what this unfettered view of the truth looks or feels like because each person must explore that for themselves (and words are not up to the task of something like that.)  Buddhism is called a religion or a faith because that’s what we are used to calling things that people use to guide their lives, but Zen Buddhism isn’t really either one of those things. Buddhist writer Brad Warner once said that Buddhism is closer to an Art than a religion and I think that is the best description I’ve heard yet.

Categories: Buddhism and life | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

10 bits of Advice for beginning tattooers

I look back at my tattooing career and a couple of things are pretty clear. One is that I sucked for a really long time at tattooing and didn’t realize it, and two, that I could have had about 5000% less stress if I had sought out the advice and knowledge of people who had been tattooing for a lot longer than me. Instead,  I spent an embarrassing amount of time and energy worrying about shit that was, in hindsight,  the exact wrong things to be spending that energy on. I hate to see people making the same mistakes that I did and if my experience can help one person not bang their head against the same walls I did then I can feel that at least my learning the hard way was not completely in vain.

So, if you have already been tattooing for 10+ years what I’m about to write really wont come as much of a surprise to you,but these are the things that I wish someone would have shared with me in my first 5 years of tattooing, it would have saved me a lot of headaches!

1. Get critiqued!

Of all the things that we do to improve the most important might be to get critiqued on your tattoos. It hurts to hear that you are failing at certain aspects, but the amazing thing is that until you hear it you almost never see it! If you can take a critique without getting butthurt then your work will begin to improve immediately. I had been bumbling along for a couple of years turning out mediocre crap when I stumbled across an online tattooers forum where they were exchanging critiques, I blithely put a couple of my tattoos that I thought were pretty good and proceeded to get my balls so thoroughly busted that I seriously considered quitting tattooing (as several critiquers had suggested) It really hurt to hear how bad I was and yet that very hurt opened my eyes to several bad habits I had and were not even aware of. It also revealed that not only did I not do good tattoos, but that I didn’t even really know what a good tattoo looked like! The critique was the first step to opening my eyes, and as he years have gone on I still ask for critiques all the time, in person or online I find that knowing a fellow tattooer will be looking at my work keeps me from taking lazy shortcuts with my tattoos since I know a tattooer will spot them!

When getting critiqued sit down, open your ears, and shut the fuck up! A critique is a chance to see your work with a new pair of eyes not a place for you to defend your work! The tattoo you apply to a client will have to stand or fall on its own merit without you there to explain it for the rest of the client’s life, so if it needs to be defended or explained then you have failed to do it correctly. A fellow tattooer who takes the time and effort to give you a critique is giving you a gift, you should receive it that way, with humility and grace. If your fragile ego can’t take hearing someones opinion about your tattoo then you might be in the wrong line of work.

2. The secret to tattooing is repetition.

I have heard the old saying “art is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration” hundreds of times before I finally actually understood it. The fact is that very few of us are such prodigies that we can draw everything a tattooer needs to on the first try.  I finally began to understand that the way to improve me work was repetition (practice). In order for our creative ideas to flow effortlessly from our minds to our hands we must have trained those muscles to the point where they can do what we ask of them without having to think about it! In martial arts the training is repetitive and ritualistic, musicians play scales and practice chords over and over, in both cases the reason is not so that they can be really good at practicing martial arts or playing chords, it is so that when the time comes to fight (or play) that the person will do so automatically without having to consciously decide what to do. If a jazz musician had to think about his next not he would never be able to play the improvisational music that he or she does, it is the result of muscle memory that lets them play so effortlessly.

The same holds true for tattooing, we must perform the same action over and over until our muscles respond to our imagination without having to go through the brain to do it! Years ago I wanted to learn to draw Japanese finger waves, every time I would try the image I saw in my head as beautiful graceful arching waves came out looking like shitty goo and no amount of trying seemed to help! I looked for shortcuts, asked other tattooers for “formulas” and tricks, I tried to figure out the “secret” of masterful Japanese tattooers like Filip Leu and Horiyoshi 3 all to no avail. Eventually I gave up and, like I had so many times before resigned myself to the fact that I just didn’t have the talent to do these fuckin’ waves like my heroes did. Instead, I began doodling waves every chance I got. little ones, big ones, when I was on the phone or eating lunch I would jot down a few sketchy finger-waves and an interesting thing began to happen. My waves began to  get better! Not immediately, and not in big leaps, but I began to notice that slowly I was beginning to make the waves on paper look like the ones in my head. I probably drew several hundred waves that year and these days I can freehand them onto the clients skin without thinking about it. All because of Practice, boring old tiresome practice.

It may seem like common sense to you, dear reader, that practice makes perfect, but I really believed that if I tried to draw something and it came out badly the first time that I was simply not able to do it. Almost all of us artists act like we were born with the abilities we have now, but it is simply not true, we all got to wherever we are by repetition. And if you want to really excel at something the best way is to draw it over and over again til you are sick to death of that image, until you can see it in your sleep. Fortunately for us tattooers the act of drawing uses the same muscle-memory as the act of tattooing so that each minute spent drawing is almost the same as a minute spent tattooing.

3. There are trends in tattooing, and you will follow them.

There are years that owls are popular and there are years that fairies are popular and no matter how cool and unique you are, you will be doing these trends. You could be the most exclusive, visionary, custom tattooer in the history of tattooing and you will find yourself wanting to do a lighthouse tattoo because you saw 15 of them on people’s arms around town. The trick is not to try to force a client out of their idea, it is to bring your own signature into that image. Doing the 300th switch blade tattoo is only dumb if you are looking at the last guys version of it and doing the same thing instead of drawing your own. Which brings us to #4

4. Use reference.

When I say reference I’m not talking about tattoo magazines, instagram, or your buddies arm either. Other tattooers art can be a reference, but really should only be used to see how he or she solved a particular technical problem (like “how did they do the shading on that wing so it didn’t blend into the background?”) Far too often we see a tattoo that is a copy of another tattoo (which is a copy of a further tattoo etc.) The result of this is the same as taking an original painting and then photocopying it, then copying the copy, etc. After just a couple of generations the spark, the detail, and the structure of the original are lost and you are left with a play-dohy looking half assed version with little to no of the bits that made the original so appealing.

If you are going to draw a rose then look at pictures (or even a real one) of an actual flower not a tattoo of one. When you look at real reference, our brain picks out the subtle details it likes and these end up in your drawing making it unique and distinctive in a sea of copycat artwork. How many times do we have to see the same koi fish that has anime eyes, goofy kissy-lips, a dorsal fin that looks like a mowhawk plus an overall resemblance to a flaccid dick!? Just look at a real goddamn koi for 30 seconds and you will notice that most tattoos are missing half the fins, have tiny tails and giant hydrocephaly heads! And, no it is not just your “artistic interpretation”, it is laziness. There is an obvious difference when someone knows the correct way to draw an object and deliberately chooses to tweak it versus some goofball just half assing it because he or she is too lazy to go to a real reference point before beginning.  Even the most conceptual artists in the world , the Dalis and Picassos, had learned the basics of anatomy and rendering before they went off on their own trips, and without that fundamental grounding their work would not have looked “right” even at their most expressively unconventional. If you want to be an artistic innovator then first learn the fundamentals, and you do that with reference.  Do just 5 minutes of reference and your drawings will be improved dramatically almost instantly. With the internet at your fingertips you really have no excuse for not pulling up a picture of a real object before you draw it (even if you are not drawing it realistically!)

5. Your style will come on its own.

I used to really worry that my work didn’t look unique enough, or that it just looked like “everybody else “. Like most of us in the western world I wanted to start making masterpieces and monuments to myself on day one. The fact is that I didn’t even have a basic handle on the technical aspects of tattooing and here I was wanting to be someone who people would recognize from my “style”.  Like a person who wants to sound like they are from Britain affecting a fake accent, there is something clearly phony which always comes through when you are trying too hard to be unique. It was only when I began to study Japanese tattooing that I understood that style is something that develops rather than being created. In the ShuHaRi method is a concept which also shows up in martial arts,  Zen training and now, tattoos as well. It’s deceptively simple, first you learn the tradition the way you are taught (SHU or “Obey”), Second you perfect that method until it becomes your second nature (or to put it in modern terms, until it is in your “muscle memory”) when you can then begin to do your own version and this is “HA” (or “break”) and finally you go beyond both your tradition and your own style into something transcendent of what came before (“RI” or “leaving”) . Put into tattoo terms I realized that I was trying to transcend before I had even learned the traditions, trying to run before I even knew how to walk. As you practice your artwork your effort should be in perfecting your drawings first, your own personal “style” will be there naturally, but only when you quit trying to have it! Otherwise it is like someone telling you to “act naturally”, as soon as you try, you end up being awkward and stilted. Even worse is copying another, better, tattooers signature moves. We are all influenced by the best in this art form, but it is painfully obvious when someone is trying to consciously emulate one of the greats.

Style is something that comes when your mind and hand work in unison effortlessly and the natural variations your unique mind comes up with can show up in your work, it takes time, but by working on the fundamentals it does come on its own.

6. Progress seems to be connected to humility.

In short, the point where a tattooer begins to get cocky, to feel that he or she knows what is the “right” kind of tattooing or when they decide that the customers are impediments to their creative genius is the point where they seem to stop growing. I’ve seen young tattooers who were getting really good very quickly suddenly plateau and stop improving and it was always that moment when they decided they were king shit on the turdpile. It’s sad to see because any tattooer with a pair of eyes can recognize that the very best tattooers in the world are also some of the humblest, and the rest of the guys who are “almost there” are the arrogant dicks. Humbleness and hard work are worth more than all the talent in the world in tattooing.

7. Dont chase money

Very few of us had any sort of success immediately. I had about 10 years of barely making ends meet and every winter was a terrifying balancing act of living on one or two tattoos a week and trying to make up the difference with the meager savings I had from summers (relatively) busier times. However if you can build a reputation as a good artist without being a dick and without being hard to find then eventually you will find yourself with a clientage who love your work and support you. Its like starting off at the bottom of the ladder in the normal working world and eventually making your way to being a CEO, it doesn’t happen quickly, but if you don’t sabotage yourself it does happen. One thing that helps is to stick around the same area for a while, traveling is fun and builds experience that is invaluable, but it makes it hard to build a name for yourself with the folks in your area who will come to see you as “their” artist.

8. “Keep your head down, do your best, don’t worry what the other guy is doing.”

I read those words in the excellent Sailor Jerry letters book published by Hardy Marks. Like many tattooers I spent a lot of time and energy worrying about, being mad at, and bitching about what other people were doing. I complained that tattooing was being ruined, that this or that guy was making “us” look bad, that this or that new trend was not “real” tattooing. In short I was a bitchy tattooer like 80% of tattooer still are. Every second I spent writing angry cry-baby shit online or sitting around belly-aching is time and energy I should have been putting into my goddamn art! I am convinced that I would be a year ahead of where I am today if I had spent all that effort on what really matters, namely,  getting better at tattooing. The fact is that tattooing will never look like we think it “ought” to, if you really want tattooing to be a certain way the ONLY thing you can actually Do about it (and bitching is not doing anything about it) is to do your very best to make your little corner of tattooing “right”. Believe it or not, you putting effort into your own tattooing changes the whole thing more than a years worth of gripe sessions and online rants can.

9. That “AHA!” moment will happen to you.

One year I was at a convention and was crying to a fellow tattooer (who had much more experience) that I felt like I still didn’t get “it”. I still felt technically inadequate, I didn’t really understand tattoo machines, and I couldn’t really draw the way I saw in my mind and I had been doing tattoos for a whole 5 years at that point! He just smirked and said “fuck man, none of us knew what we were doing at 5 years!” and it hit me! Here I had been thinking 5 years was a long time to be tattooing and to this guy that was just getting started! From that day on I relaxed a little bit and began to realize that tattooing was going to be a looooong road, the rest of my life! There were other Ah ha! moments as well, like the day I realized I was no longer afraid of any tattoo on any part of the body, the day I realized that drawing a sleeve or back piece was no more intimidating than drawing a small piece, the day I realized I rarely fiddled with my machines looking for that “perfect” tuning anymore, and the day I told a customer I wouldn’t do their tattoo and they thanked me for being honest.

There will come a time when you are confident in your knowledge and abilities. It will be the result of years of hard work, tiny bits of knowledge piling up, and of all the lessons that setbacks and mistakes have taught you. The coolest part is that if you keep your head out of your ass, that upward path never needs to stop.

10. Have fun

tattooing is fun, hard work, but still fun. Take a moment now and then to stop, smell the green-soap and take it all in. The years begin to fly by as we get older and those shitty, stressful, early years begin to look  pretty sweet in hindsight.

Categories: Tattoo stuff | Tags: , , , , , | 44 Comments

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