Archive for the 'random dumbness' Category

17
Dec
09

Fa la la lalalalalalalalalalalalalalala

Im typing this by the light of a Christmas tree, I dunno about you but I think thats pretty cool. In fact i think the whole holiday is pretty cool. A lot of folks seem to get upset every year that christmas isnt what they believe it should be like, but it still happens and i still feel like the basic gist gets across despite anything that anyone tries to pile on top of it.

Like most holidays it happens on the cusp of great change. the change of seasons, change of weather, change of year. We like to mark these occasions, to say “remember this moment because from this point forward it will be different. In the really old days that might mean some folks wouldnt survive the next 3 months of really serious winter, or that after weeks and weeks of being stuck in-doors (or in-cave in the really old days) that there might be signs of a new baby on the way. In a lot of traditions it was believed that the old year had to die so the new could be reborn.

Its nice to think about the fact that under everything, the religion, the commercialism, the expectations there still beats a warm heart of generosity.

Merry Christmas/Hannuka/whatever.

23
Nov
09

1/8 cherokee

10
Nov
09

Stepping it up

Ive been tattooing for a long time now, and if i have learned anything it’s that I havent learned very much. Tattooing has always been pretty cyclical for me, there are times i really feel like I am growing and expanding and then there are times that i feel like Im just treading water, trying to keep my head above the waves. Sometimes im fully aware of the state im currently in but recently I feel like ive been in a bit of a rut and hadn’t realised it. Whatever the reason i feel like i havent been pushing myself as much as i would like to, ive been doing what the clients ask for but i havent been pushing for even more and i feel like it’s about time that i got to doing that.

In part ive been wasting a lot of time playing video games. This has long been a problem of mine and acquiring an x box for my birthday has just exacerbated it with Oblivion and Fallout taking up way too much of my brainspace. I suppose everyone has something they do to waste time now and then, but for me this has been a little too much and now that a couple months have gone by I dont think its going to taper off any more until i sell the goddamn thing. I would hate to do it, it’s really fun, but like having a giant plate of cookies on the counter all the time the temptation to fuck off for 4 or 5 hours in la-la land is too great for me to pass up.

Second ive settled into a comfortable patter of business where Im booked for a few weeks so Im comfortable. Comfortable is bad sometimes, I need a kick in the ass. Fortuneatly i know where to get it, looking at other tattooers work online and posting my own work for critique. I havent done either for some time and just the other day Cara was looking at some of Valerie Vargas work and it blew me away at how she took very simple themes and tricked them the fuck out. I need to start doing this more. Any tattoo that comes in i need to give the full on treatment to the best of my abilities, I know that I have it in me, i just need to kick the old grey dog in the ass enough times to get him motivated to try harder.

Stay tuned, I hope to be putting some next level stuff up in the future.

In other news i have finally begun the lasering of my left arm in earnest. A friend i have tattooed for years recently started to do laser removal and i had all the black from my shoulder to elbow zapped this past sunday. I hope to be going in monthly and if all goes according to plan (when does it ever?) I would like to be getting my sleeve started sometime next year. ideally i would like someone like Dana Helmuth or Mike Rubendall to do it (well ideally it would be Shige but I dont see that happening too terribly soon). I have lived with tattoos I only half like for a really long time, Im ready to love my sleeves from this point on.

We recently attended the Meeting of the Marked, Pittsburghs tattoo convention and i did a few pieces there like this one

convention scepterI have also finished some japanese work i am waiting to get pictures of and am damn close to finishing a sleeve Im very proud of.I finished a set of traditional flash in black only and am within days of finishing my japanese sketchbook. I feel like im finally back on the good foot, now its time to get stomping.

Ive been riding quite a bit too and after another month or so I feel like Ill be able to write a review of the Giant Bowery/mashup. In related news a friend is convinced he saw some kid riding my stolen Trek around the hood. Im not sure what to do with this news, Im over it but if I see that in person it will be real hard not to double foot dropkick that fucker.

I probably wont, mostly because ive gotten back onto the meditation tip lately, Cara and our buddy kevin just went to a small sitting group this morning at the Mattress Factory art gallery. And i do mean early, that shit was at 7 am! Thats early for a tattoo artist goddammnit! But it felt great and so has just sitting regularly again. So hopefully im getting back on track and pulling my head out of my ass (yet again, what is this like the 12th time? 44th?).

 

12
Oct
09

Look ma I’m tech (or the new bike plus rain)

So I’m typing this at Starbucks on Caras i-Pod touch while waiting for her to get done. My giant thumbs are bumbling around this teeny screen like Andre the giant trying to build a faberge egg with oven mitts on.

It is kind of like a cool little laptop though,if you dont mind a teensy tiny screen. It’s like deciding to ride in the tour e france but with a dahon folding bike. I have no doubt that it could be done, but it would take a long ass time. Im a big fan of new toys and techy stuff, but trying to do anything more important than texting your friend on something this size is ridiculous.

In the interest of full disclosure I must now confess that the rest of this entry is being written on my home computer with a human being sized keyboard.

After my much beloved Trek Soho S was stolen a few weeks back I was suddenly (and involuntarily) in the market for some new wheels. Some folks believe that God has a plan for their lives and while I would never assume that the great universe has a specific map of exactly how my life is going to go I do believe that the man upstairs does have certain bullet points on the heavenly to-do list with my name at the top. Certain things seem to happen with such stunning regularity that it stretches the limits of credibility to deny that they can be the result of anything less than Gods sense of irony

One of these things is the fact that it will rain on the day I am buying a bike. You can bank on it. And trust me Ive bought a lot of bikes this year alone and It has rained on every single day i rode the new one home. In fact at this point Id like to hire myself out to desert communities struck by drought, all they need to do is pay me to fly out to Arizona, lets say, walk into a bike shop and the second I hand my money over to the cashier the heavens will erupt in biblical levels of rain.

Which is a long-winded way of saying it rained when I was shopping for bikes the other day. Once again i hit 3 or 4 bike shops but this time I had a much firmer idea of what I wanted. I looked at SE’s lager and premium brew bikes, and a fuji track bike at Thick Bikes, then I checked out the KHS urban soul (which should be the label for a section of Keith Sweat records NOT a bike name) and the Surly Steamroller at Iron City bikes, I was damn close to a Felt Dispatch or jamis beatnik at BikeTek in Squirrel hill, but i was finally sold on my new bike at Pittsburgh pro bikes.

See, this time I knew I wanted to stick to a light frame, which meant aluminum for my price range. I wanted it to be single speed, to have some V to the rims (for my fat ass) and to have front and rear brakes. I wanted straight bars and I wanted to spend less than $600.  unlike the Soho S i also wanted it in my size, i had settled for a 47cm frame and now i knew I needed at least a 50 or 52 . The result is this little guy:

Bowery-MashUp-Grey

It’s a Giant Bowery/mashup. and so far i love the shit out of it! My Trek was a great bike and really let me hit when i wanted to go fast, but this guy really wants to go fast on its own! the frame fits perfectly, on my previous bike i was forever messing with the seat height and saddle position to try and get comfortable, however on this bad boy I just set it up and its been perfectly comfortable from day one. The only downside is the presta valves on the tires, which has more to do with the fact that Ive never used that type before and I dont want to fuck the tubes up pumping them up with that tiny delicate looking stem.

I still store it in the lobby of my building but these days there is a giant kryptonite cable lock lashed to a 5000 pound radiator bolted to the floor that I lock it to. If the thieves get it off of that monstrosity then im giving up and riding a unicycle to work.

This Tuesday I will be tattooing a crazy cool Ganesh on a good friend of ours so pictures soon!

01
Oct
09

Updateless

canttalkplayingfallout 3.

ohandiboughtanewbikeitsagiantbowerymashupmoresoon. . . .

23
Sep
09

Birthday #39

so its quite literally the 39th time ive had a birthday today. Theres a lot of ways I can think about that. For one, I can imagine that ive taken 39 rides on earth around the sun, a very long and enormous trip! Or i can consider the milestones in my life, the scars on my body, the progress of my spiritual and mental facilities. I can catalog the victories or defeats of my life, I can tally the number of hours spent accomplishing great things (great to me, anyways) or the hours wasted on sillieness.

Me? im taking the day off to hang out with the most wonderful girl in the world, the orneriest dog in pittsburgh and a beautiful cool september day. The last few years of my life on my birthday have filled me with such gratitude and wonderful realization of how fucking lucky I have been.

The real gift I get on my birthday is that I was born into this little chunk of the universe and given the chance to experience it the way I have, its a wonderful beautiful ride.

17
Sep
09

the almighty punk band FEAR once wrote

I love livin’ in the city

Spent my whole life in the city
Where junk is king and the air smells shitty
People pukin’ everywhere
Piles of blood, scabs and hair
Bodies wasted in the street
People dyin’ on the street
But the suburban scumbags, they don’t care
Just get fat and dye their hair

I love livin’ in the city

well at this particular moment I dont love living in the city quite so much. My beloved Trek Soho S was stolen along with the daughty but faithful KHS Urban X right out of the apartment building we live in. In a way it is my fault since I didnt lock the bike up, but supposedly we have a “security” door. it wasnt very. Secure that is. So we’ve had Caras mom car with a break in last month ans two bikes stolen this month. Im not terribly upset or even angry, im more disappointed than anything.

Of course when you decide to live in a city you are tacitly agreeing to take the bad with the good, in this case an increased chance for petty theft is the price I pay for living withing walking distance of work, art stores, 10,000 restaruants, 20 cofee shops, 3 supermarkets, 10 book stores, and a vibrant art and musical scene. Frankly its totally worth it. I have lived in the burbs and it is slow death to me.

On the bright side I do get to get a new bike now and with my birthday right around the corner it will be like a little present to myself. So Im off to look at whats out there!

29
Aug
09

Bike love

stolen from the Bike Snob. . .

17
Aug
09

Grumpy old man list

Im not really grumpy (or even that old. . .I think) but some things sound more profound if they come from a grizzled veteran. In all honesty I think of myself as more of a grilled veteran than a grizzled one. . but anyway, we have  LISTS!

.1  there is only one way to accomplish anything in the world. Be it losing weight, becoming proficient at a skill, learning anything. There is no short cut, there is no quick way and there is no ‘natural talent’ that will make up for. . . work. Hard work. Hard repetitive, boring work. The plain fact is that for whatever reason the universe decided that for everything you get out of this life you must put something back in, in equal measure and with equal grace. Im sorry but years of caring a lot, worrying a lot, visualising, anger, desperation, cynicism wont get you even one tenth of what a few hours of hard work/practice will. The good news is that when you do earn whatever it is you have been striving for there is more than just the joy of accomplishment, there is pride of craftsmanship. In the end, it turns out that what you really wanted isnt half so pleasurable as what you went through to earn it.

.2 Smoking pot really is destructive. I didnt used to think so, in fact i used to believe (still do actually) that it would be far better to legalise marijuana and ban alcohol. I dont do drugs myself, but Ive lived long enough to meet several 40 and 50+ year olds who have smoked weed daily and while they are not the wreckage of human life that a daily drinker is, they are all. . .well. . .dopey. Its kind of sad to watch these folks i know and respect wandering through life like an ox someone brained with an ax handle. Glassy-eyed and with the mental and physical reaction time of a tree sloth these folks have one calamity after another befall them (i.e. real life) with their only ability to deal with it in the form of a forlorn “aw maaaan, that sucks.” What is so insidious is how gradually this toporific trance sneaks up on them, after years of toking up they slowly morph from laid back jesters to sprawled out Hutts. Pot, it turns out isnt necessarily a gate way to hard drugs, its a gateway to a stinky apartment, 3 months of unpaid bills, and the complete inability to do anything even remotely proactive about .. . anything.

.3 What your brain predicts  is seldom, if ever, what happens. Your worst fears turn out to not be quite so bad and your fondest goals turn out to be a let down. What you want most in the world doesnt seem to satisfy and your darkest fear reveals itself to be just another turn your brain poops up. Its almost like real life doesnt even care what you and I think. its like real life is somehow always in the middle of our percieved highs and lows. if only there was some way to walk in the middle, to take some kind of middle path as it were. But what does this ‘middle way’ look like. . . . . ? Oh well i guess we’ll never know.

.4 Driving a car seems to have a magical effect on people. otherwise calm, rational folks turn into ranting juvenile assholes as soon as they close that door. Ive seen road rage incidents countless times and the common denominator is always the same, as soon as the person steps out of their car (or someone reaches in and pops them in the mouth) they get this stunned look like, “hey where did my power go!?  Just a second ago i was king of the world and now some skinny bike rider guy has rearranged my bicuspids with a u-lock. . . ” I imagine its sort of how a hermit crab would geel if you popped him out of his shell, all the sudden his soggy weak ass is hanging for the world to see. A car, it seems, is like giving everyone in the world a suit of armor and a gun, despite the bizarre utopia the NRA espouses it turns out that giving any idiot over the age of 16 the means to drive over other people doesn’t result in a ‘polite society” but instead a nation of childish hatred and insularity. Ride a bike for a week and I promise you will feel like the only sane person left on the planet.

.5 Language is, at best, a way to convey the wondrous complexity of the universe into a form that, hopefully, can inform another of your particular unique experience without the need for them to actually share your brain. In person language can do this tolerably well because the words themselves are given life via tone, volume, gesture, timing, bearing and all the other tiny things that make a face to face conversation so compelling. Some writers can do nearly as well with the written word, though even the best wordsmiths can only convey half of what any live person can in a few spoken lines. So when you then take that incomplete experience and compress it further into texting or email you lose all but the simplest factual information and even that reads as somehow mysterious and arcane. If you have ever had an argument or disagreement viea text or email you can attest to how it is nearly useless to try to convey anything! One ends up being more frustrated at the fact that your point is simply misunderstood than whatever the argument was about! At the same time we humans find it much eaier to be douche-bags via the typed word then in person. In my own life I have tried to institude the 2 text rule, if what we are discussing requires the both of us to text more than twice then its time for a phone call instead.

11
Aug
09

How people find us. . .

one of wordpress’ neato bits is a list of the phrases people put in search engines to get here. Usually its stuff that appears in my posts, stuff like “tradional tattoo” or “black cats”, sometimes its specific like “Trek Soho S bike” or ” zen tattoos”. And sometimes, they are just fucking hilarious.

heres a few recent ones, I really hope these people found something they liked based on these search engine terms they entered.

badass tattoos for guys

bad ass rose tattoos

sick black tattoo sleeve

how did they use to tattoo on the old day

am i too fat to ride a bicycle

steak tattoo

stylish cat tattoo

walking tall tattoo upper arm the rock

tatto shop for dummies

tattoo owl with attitude

tattoo ass

tibet pants

shit berries

Now if you will excuse me I have to go put my tibet pants on. . .




My Name is Jason Lambert. Currently, im a 39 year old buddhist and a tattoo artist with over a decade of inking under my belt. I work at Black Cat tattoos in Pittsburgh Pa. Before I became a tattooer I was a punk rock loser, a photographer, zine publisher, married, and aimless. Now, Im none of that stuff (though all of it made me what I am today.) Thanks for taking the time to look at this page.

 

December 2009
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Tattoos I done did

 water girl

flop chicken

flop mary

flop chest before

flop chest

coke pin up

 dotd comp

convention scepter

 pin up

 pirate ship

More Photos