Dont wanna be nobody’s hero

I think it’s time we talked this over
I think you’ve taken this too far
I never wanted to be different
Didn’t ask to be nobody’s star
Try and take control of it
Cos what you see is what you get
Try and take control of it
And not me

-“Nobody’s hero” by Stiff Little Fingers

 

I cant say that I know a single person who doesn’t cringe at least a tiny bit inside when someone is giving them a compliment. The more glowing the flattery the more that cringe seems to grow. We become embarrassed and beg off, we wave our hand as if warding away a bad smell or cloud of flies and say “that’s nice, but Im not so great y’know. . . .”

Maybe they don’t know that we don’t really deserve undue flattering, but we do. We feel in our heart of hearts that if this person only really knew us and what was in our minds that they would take all those kind words right back. We also know that no one else is a saint either, time and again when someone is worshiped and lauded it turns out that they have some flaw, some dark bit of their soul that taints that squeaky clean glow of admiration. The higher they have been raised, they less it takes to tarnish them.

Its only natural to want to believe that there is someone out there “better” than us, someone more pure. We want our parents to be saints, our spouses to be super-humanly patient, devoted,  and entertaining even when we aren’t. And as parents we almost refuse to see the least flaw in our children, we cant bear to think they are as bad as, well,. . . .  us. its natural because we want salvation, we want to pin our hopes and dreams on some other person (or idea) that can rise higher than we can with our petty, bitter, cheating ways. It really hurts when we find out that everyone, and I mean everyone, is just as fucked up as we are.

It could be cause for depression and a feeling of hopelessness to watch our heroes fail. To have our loved ones hurt us or to have our cherished ideology revealed as false. Its like taking away a child’s security blanket.

Of course there comes a time in every child’s life when that security blanket must be taken away. We cant cling to illusions forever or our lives begin to fall further and further away from reality. If we are really lucky we can take these bitter little revelations as a sign that not only are our heroes not as wonderful as we thought they were, but that we aren’t really so bad ourselves. If we start to see that our salvation and our support cant really come from anyone outside of ourselves we can actually start taking care of the one place that it can, in us.

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Categories: Buddhism and life | Tags: , , , | 1 Comment

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One thought on “Dont wanna be nobody’s hero

  1. Cara Cable

    I love you.

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