I ha vent had any sort of cable television since 1996 and frankly, i liked it that way. Sure I miss the occasional show i would like but in general I have a kind of monkey mind and will watch just about anything. I was always afraid that if I had 500 channels that i always find something interesting enough to watch and never get anything else done. In short, I was worried that id turn into a zombie.
Bear in mind that I have no problem playing a video game for 3 hours. . in my twisted logic that is somehow the same as ‘doing something’. So my disdain for t.v. is , at best, hypocritical and at worst just plain stupid.
So Cara wanted to get dish tv so she could watch Dexter and Weeds and all that stuff, (Which are actually pretty good, i have to admit) and today we got hooked up. She went to work and i watched t.v. i watched tv about making donuts, how they make electric shavers, about airborne soldier training, about how Cesar makes mean dogs nice and about how william shatner isn’t aware that he talks funny when hes acting.
Cara finished up a pretty damn big piece on a co-workers back yesterday. Its a solid black piece and it was her first time using as big of a needle group as that. In what it rapidly becoming standard she rocked it and I really only stood over her shoulder a few times as she tattooed and chatted away. Im very proud of her.
Any small doubt I had is now gone, she is gonna be good. She will certainly be good enough to rock the shit out of some flash and I have every confidence that with continued diligence and practice she will be customizing the hell out of some tattoos in short order.
I’m going to take a minute now to say NEENER NEENER to the haters who didn’t believe she could do it. IN yo face!
No one starts off awesome in tattooing (at least not as awesome as they will be after a few years), but with a good apprenticeship you move up the ladder of difficulty in lock-step with your skill level. I made the mistake early on of trying to do work that was way above my head, Cara wont be making that same error. For this, and many other reasons, I’m glad I never even thought about apprenticing anyone til i had a decade of tattooing under my belt.
Its such a dance of the technical, the artistic, and some undefinable magic that its almost impossible to articulate into words, it scares me to think that there are books purporting to be able to tell you how to tattoo. There is no way that could work without the personal attention of someone who knows whats up. I guess you could trial and error that shit, but my god is that rough on your customers and they end up with some shitty tattoos till you clunk along enough times to get OK. Ive seen one or two exceptions to this, but Ive also seen hundreds of self-taught tattooers who have 5 or 10 years in tattooing and they STILL cant do anything right, clean, or artistic. At this point i remain convinced that without an apprenticeship of SOME kind you are just trying to take one step forward while also taking two back.
Its neat to see how Caras painting is progressing with her tattooing, art feeds off of art. Even LOOKING at great art helps to carve those pathways in your brain i think. Its not like her painting helps her with the physical act of tattooing, rather it seems like the process of painting helps the process of tattooing. The way of looking at a blank page and thinking what will go there, and how it will interact with this other stuff is the same thought process with all art, tattooing or otherwise, so its gotta be a benefit.
Next up, im gonna throw some fine-line lettering action her way, on me!
not really, Actually lists are fun. But lest you think Im always sunshine and rainbows here’s a list of stuff that annoys me. So in honor of thanksgiving, here’s some shit I’m NOT thankful for. . .
Quentin tarantinos foot fetish. Every goddamn movie of his has more and more close ups of feet. Touching feet, rubbing feet, uma thurmans feet. . . frankly its a little creepy that this barely talented dilettante hack gets to make the rest of us watch him wanking off to some poor actresses footsies.
telling me about your pussy gettin exploits while im tattooing you. I really don’t care how many people you fucked, how hot they were, or how many you did at the same time. Really, I’m not impressed. Its kinda like telling me how long your last turd was. Save it for your other repressed Bro’s. The same goes for fighting stories.
Alcohol. Unless its being used to disinfect something then Booze is the worst plague to hit mankind, ever. Its disgusting, horribly destructive, and the gateway to being a full time fucking asshole. Millions of self-righteous pricks wouldn’t dream of stepping into a ‘corporate’ Starbucks but gladly shell out billions of dollars a year to some fucked corporation like Coors or Busch who give money to anti-choice conservative political candidates. How a poisonous chemical that does nothing but quadruple the murder, rape, assault, and suicide rate became and remains ‘cool’ with otherwise intelligent people is a mystery to me. Ive got a LOT more to say about this fucking swill but there’s more to get through. . .
Bitching. Yes I know I’m doing it now, but I’m talking about people whose only form of communication is one long bitchfest. Who done ‘em wrong, how unfair the world is, how they got it worse than everyone else. This is coming from people with money, a roof over their heads, people who love them and all they have room for in their tiny selfish minds is how it isn’t perfect enough!? You know the way you think every day carves neural pathways in your brain, you spend all day thinking your life sucks and sooner than later that will be the way your brain thinks its supposed to think.Sometimes it helps to share your personal problems, i do it too, but if it becomes your whole life you need to fix that crap.
The ‘zinger’ news story. Real News is when a tsunami hits Thailand or when a bank gets robbed or a person shot in a gang fight. The story about the pastor who hates white folks isn’t news, the story about lady who abandoned her kids to get high isn’t news, the story of silly political correctness in some situation 12 states away isn’t news, the story about the bride who ran away isn’t news, the story about the Muslim suing a restaurant because he touched pork isn’t news. Those are ‘zinger‘ stories, the kind of bullshit you find on Bill O’reilley, FOX, or the shitty Drudge report and they are usually picked up and used by those with an axe to grind. For these retreads, its as if one dramatic, but rare, event is somehow proof of their juvenile political worldview. If these clowns hate Muslims, then that one story about the Muslim guy getting all stupidly politically correct is the only ‘evidence’ they need to continue to be irrationally bigoted. If they think the world is doomed then the story about the teacher humping a student is all the ‘proof’ they need that everything is terrible and they can continue to be cynical and bitter. It isn’t news, its fuel for continued stupidity.
Graffiti that isn’t art on peoples personal shit.I really do LIKE graf, I’m impressed by a well done piece or a tag that has flow and skill. What annoys the shit out of me are people with garbage for writing style putting their crap up on some old ladies building or etching some small mom and pop businesses bathroom mirrors with some sketchy garbage. There are a shit ton of places to work out whatever ‘mommy didn’t hug me’ trip you have that forces you to write your own name everywhere that don’t involve fucking some innocent persons personal shit up.
Waking up in winter with my mouth so dry it feels like I was eating cotton balls and dryer lint all night.
Ginkgo trees shit berries! Ginkgo trees are beautiful and they are narrow so they work well in small parks, but they also drop truckloads of these orange berries in fall that smell like if vomit could take a shit. If you get one drop of this shitberry juice on your shoe you might as well burn the goddamn things because you will smell like you crapped your pants all day. On top of that, every pinhead who hasn’t ever seemed to notice how bad these goddamn berries smell will say something like “hey check your shoe, i think you stepped in dog poop” and when you tell ‘em its the hellshitberry they look at you like your making it up. Like you really like dogshit on your shoe and youre trying to hide it! Look re-re, if I had shit on me id say “oh i got shit on me” , I would NOT come up with some sci-fi magic stink-berry story just for kicks. I want to get a bag of those berries to rub on the face of the next person who doesn’t believe its the ginkgo curse that stinks so bad.
Being fat. Goddamn am I sick of thinking about being fat. Its so fucking annoying to be self-conscious, I’m WAY less so than i was but even the fact that i have to spend 2 seconds of my day feeling bad because I don’t have “abs” (if those things even really exist) is such a waste of good time and energy.
90% of movies. What the fuck, even just going by the law of averages then at least 50% of movies should be watchable, right? The fact that movies are horrible garbage the VAST majority of the time means that I don’t even bother to watch the silly things anymore. Every time I try I feel more and more like some evil motherfucker took that two hours of my life that ill never get back and that my $10 will go to fund more a)not funny comedies featuring the kind of stupidity and jock-cock humor that makes me want to punch adam sandler b) depressing shit that will bum you out for a month featuring some abused lady, tortured kid, or slow death by disease or drugs. . . look if Trainspotting can be all about heroin addicts and STILL be such a good movie then the rest of you fuckers have no excuse to just bum a guy out like that and c) the goddamn heist movie where the scumbag shitheel criminals who do horrible shit and fuck people over are the ‘heros’. That can eat a trainload of dicks. Yea, Fuck movies.
the craaaaazy junkie/drunk who rings my buzzer at 11 at night looking for some person who used to live here to buy drugs off of. Motherfucker will ring it 40 times til I come down and tell him to fuck off! I can understand it once, maybe even twice if the meth has cooked your brain that much, but 3 and 4 and 5 times would earn you a basebal bat to the nog if i wasnt such a peaceful nice buddha guy these days, motherfucker.
My dog jumping on my head every-time try to hug or kiss Cara. Look you little shit, I know your jealous but I CAN COOK AND EAT your little ass. Give a bro some space or its bar b que chihuahua time.
*Whew* all done for now, but it is Thanksgiving so I might be adding more after some quality family time today. . . .
In my family we have this problem. . . see we just dont ask for help, ever. So when we are learning something new it requires a lot of trial and error, and often something that could be shown to me by a competent teacher i instead muddle my way through taking twice as long to get half as far. This was definitely the case for me and meditation. When i decided to learn about this whole Buddha stuff I had the same preconceptions as lots of folks do and spent way too much time arguing with my mistaken notion of what Buddhism is and what meditation is ‘for’.
eventually through practice, muddling, and reading I began to separate my goofball notion from the reality of the whole deal. Buddhism is both much simpler and much more sublime than the crude stereotypes i had associated with it. One of the main things I came to understand was that Buddhism is something you DO not something you BELIEVE. In fact belief is absolutely besides the point.
So I found this rather relaxed and accurate guide to starting meditation on you tube. I really wish I would have seen this 10 years ago, but hey, its there now. If you have any interest this little quick guide is all you need to know.
heres a few things that confused me about meditation that hopefully i can help you avoid.
1. you arent trying to achieve any special state. You dont need to stop thinking, you dont need to ‘feel peaceful’ or float, or any other wacky trance like shit. a trance is not meditation. meditation is being in reality moment by moment and just being with that moment.
2. meditation is not a way to feel better. it not going to make your bad day go away (though there are meditation-like exercises to help with stress, they arent technically Buddhist meditation) however, after some time with the practice you will find that all that stress simply stops arising and your ability to withstand the blows life inevitable throws your way becomes easier and more natural.
3. reincarnation, god, heaven or hell, all this stuff has nothing to do with Buddhism. they are questions that no person can answer with actual experience so in Buddhism we dont bother to ask them. Is there life after death? who knows!? I guess we will find out after we die, til then there is more important stuff to deal with now.
4. after many years I can tell you that meditation never gets fun. you never get trippy experiences (if you are doing it right) and it never feels like you have ‘gotten enlightened”. Were not looking for any sort of goal, and yet the ’side effects’ of meditation do have beneficial results, the funny part is they dont show up til you quit looking for them.
5. its not a tough guy contest. its better to meditate for a few minutes every day than for 3 hours once a week. like anything in life worth doing, you build it gradually, stick with it regularly rather than doing it intensely every so often. The example that is often used is trying to make a fire by rubbing a stick against another stick, rubbing the stick for a few seconds here and there wont do anything, but doing it steadily for some time will get that fire lit!
I cannot tell if what the world considers ‘happiness’ is happiness or not. All I know is that when I consider the way they go about attaining it, I see them carried away headlong, grim and obsessed, in the general onrush of the human herd, unable to stop themselves or to change their direction. All the while they claim to be just on the point of attaining happiness.
-Chuang-tzu.
“I have done my best”, that is about all the philosophy of living that one needs.
“The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be”
Marcel Pagnol
Maybe its evolutionary, but I believe the first human who ever invented speech said something like “oh dear, it looks like its going to rain, yesterday was so nice and sunny. .. ” What is it about being human that makes bumming ourselves out such a daily imperative? My ex used to say that people who were happy were delusional. Wow. No wonder we split up.
So when you train your mind to live in the present and to see the world as it really is minus the filters we’ve grown up with (and been tought to think of as our ‘true selves’) , why then do we seem so much happier and at peace? Becuase all this doom and gloom isnt a natural human condition! In fact those who were born and raised in abject poverty seem to be immune to the poison of our modern despair. these are the folks who come to our country and work like a dog for a few bucks because to them that is paradise. They dont need a better car, a prettier spouse, a stock portfolio, they just want to make enough to get by and support their family back home (their whole family). Not a one of us would trade places with them, but are we suffering any less?
Despair and pessimism are a disease of the modern, successful world. the more you have the more you worry about losing it, getting more, and keeping the other from getting what you have. its sad, literally sadness personified. Samsara, the wheel of suffering sickness and death, and its only our ignorance which stops us from seeing that the ride is optional!
Try for just one day to not worry about your money, about your relationship, your status or looks or anything but whatever is right in front of you that requires dealing with right now. Im no psychic, but id be willing to wager that it might be the most peaceful, happy day you have had in a while.
I love fakey german! At the old camera store I worked at we had a shelf of expensive german cameras that had a sigh on it that said “Das kameras ist fur lookin und nicht fur der gerfingerpoken und der touchinstuffs. Keepen ze hands in der pocketz und look at das blinkinlights” and occasionally a German tourist would come in and start at it for like an hour trying to figure out why they couldnt read it.
anyhow, if you havent been to the black cat webpage lately it been hooked up with some actual content and such. I like it a lot but i need feedback (thanks to chris for already throwing some suggestions my way). Does it work for your browser? is it easy to navigate? is it pleasing to the eye or hard to look at? HELP! THANKS!
When I was young i used to get depressed. In hindsight it really doesn’t seem like what my adult self would call “real” depression, it was very self-pitying and full of ‘poor me’ about how down I was. i think this is a natural part of being a teen age person, the world is so new and unusual and you have this new found mandate to assert yourself in it that everything takes on that dramatic majesty. it all looks rather silly and drama queen-ish now, but at the time it sure felt powerful.
these days I don’t get depressed about those sort of existential hormone induced problems. Im very comfortable with the world and my place in it, and even dramatic or frightening events really cant dent that core of peace and stability that Ive discovered. Not to say that I don’t feel every bit as much as I did (these days Id be tempted to say that I feel more and more genuinely) but that the buffets and blows of life dont feel like they are all going to overwhelm me anymore.
Instead i sometimes get the ‘blahs’. Its a strange sensation that borders on both boredom and depression but never actually sets foot in either camp, its what a new-agey person might describe as ‘low energy’. I can and do laugh as easily as ever and im still excited to do things and love spending time with my wonderful girlfriend and insane dog, but i just kind of feel a little numb to everything a bit. its not unusual to get this time of year as the skies grey over and I mentally hunker down for the long winter of short cold days and bitter freezing nights. I have the impending shop change to think about and some minor health issues on my mind that make it hard to stay in the moment.
Still, all that meditation seems to have helped to uncover a fundamentally contented and happy part of myself and even with everything that life deals me I feel basically joyful and grateful. Im truly blessed by all that I have and those who love me, even with the ‘blahs’ I can still smile knowing they never last long.
I don’t know why i thought this would be worth the time it took to make, its based on a Demitri Martin joke and still makes me laugh despite having heard it 400 times. I want to print up vinyl stickers of this and put it on bathrooms in restaurants everywhere. . .
A really good friend of mine just lost his step mom on election night. She was a great lady and her death was unexpected, out of the blue, and an incredible surprise for someone who seemed otherwise so healthy and vibrant. I met her a few times and she was one of those people who instantly made you want to be adopted by her.
Brian and i went to her service tonight. She was a smart and practical lady who had lately begun to really dig on the buddhist path. She was cremated so the ceremony consisted of some readings at the Unitarian church and family and friends sharing some thoughts about what she meant to them. It was incredibly touching. As you went in there was two prayer cards, one with a prayer written by St.Francis and the other with a listing of the buddhist 8-fold path to ending suffering. Nice.
I was amazed but not surprised at how many people were there, literally a couple hundred folks showed up. If you ever want to really know how many folks lives you touched and how beneficial you life was to the world then look down from the great hereafter and see how big your funeral was. Hers was huge, like her heart. When my friend got up to do his little eulogy I nearly lost it, not for her sake because i know she is beyond suffering, but because he was obvious so upset that the amazing relationship his step mom and his 1 year old had formed was being ended before he would ever know how awesome she was.
If you are lucky enough to still have them around, call your mom. Mine is 10 years older than the wonderful lady who just passed away , you just never know how long you have with them, don’t waste it.
My Name is Jason Lambert. Currently, im a 39 year old buddhist and a tattoo artist with over a decade of inking under my belt. I work at Black Cat tattoos in Pittsburgh Pa.
Before I became a tattooer I was a punk rock loser, a photographer, zine publisher, married, and aimless. Now, Im none of that stuff (though all of it made me what I am today.)
Thanks for taking the time to look at this page.
